Confession #2

I find that blogging is an excellent way to fulfull my incessant urge to write without actually accomplishing anything of any real purpose or merit. I waste so much time staring at this blank screen instead of the blank screen of Final Draft. But I console myself with the technicality that they are, in fact, the same screen.

I like the immediacy of blogging. Writing anything else comes with the opposite of instant gratification. Except possibly internet news articles that spring on to the web moments after Paris gets out of jail or Anna Nicole Smith dies, but somehow I wonder if the people who get stuck writing those stories feel very gratified at all. Anyway, my point is that it sucks to spend four hours are crafting some beautiful action lines and dialogue, but find yourself with no one to show it too. And then inevitably you read it a few days later and think, "I am a hack. That is terrible. I wish I were dead. Where are my girl pants? I need to scream."

So instead I send my thoughts out into the blogosphere. Or scribosphere as I believe these writing-bent blogs are called. I love that as technology progresses we have to keep making up more and more nonsense words to make sense of things. Its like the entire nation has started talking like the character of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

The interesting thing, however, is that its really just a false sense of gratification. By the time I garner enough readers to actually recieve true gratification, I will probably have had enough time to write like 12 screenplays. But I let the internet have its way with me. It can lull me into a false sense of gratification if it wants to. Anything to avoid actually bleeding my soul onto a computer screen in a way that might garner me the praise and adoration of my girlfriend. (Because I have this little problem of being too shy too show it to anyone else.)

Personal note: When I refer to my girlfriend, what I really mean to say is the-girl-I've-loved-for-all-my-life-but-who-breaks-up-with-me-three-times-a-year-to-find-herself. You can't be a writer without one. I feel very strongly about this. However, she clearly is my girlfriend so I'm only telling you this useless bit of personal info because otherwise she - the only person actually reading this so far - will eventually get freaked out by my constant referall to her as my girlfriend and somehow manage to break up with me while we are already in a supposed state of broken up-ness. So please. Anyone out there who might read this please do not assume from the use of the simple term girlfriend that I do actually have a girlfriend. Just the fact that you, dear stranger, think this could set her off and ruin my life. *shrugs* She's an actress.

Back to the point.... Ok, no, I think I'm done actually. I might should mention that I'm not so great at making cohesive posts. I start out with a good point I think and then towards the end I just kind of meander off and forget what I was talking about and realized I need to pee so I stop.